I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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