I want to stick my p in your. b.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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