you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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