dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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