I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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