Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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