we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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