very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
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