found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
