absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
