i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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