My hand turned me down
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
