I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
high people should be assigned attendants
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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