I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
