Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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