i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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