Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
