if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
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Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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