I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
