Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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