My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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