I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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