He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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