Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
