Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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