dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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