you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
