I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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