I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
