Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
