i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
