im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Randomize
