Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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