i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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