So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
