Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
