remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
