sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
where does the pee come out of this thing
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Come see our sink grown plant.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
