no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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