toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
