i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
