He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
