the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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