at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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