Can i not drive my cunt home
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
