Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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