I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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