I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
