I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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