never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize