You surviving the open bar?
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She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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