i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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