Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
