a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
