thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
