I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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