I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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