I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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