the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
