He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
