today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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