Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
