maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
