So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
