Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
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