I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize